Snow White
by GodsOfDeathLikeApples
Summary: You know what? It had actually started out as a pretty good day for Hibari Kyoya.


**I really am very sorry for this. **

* * *

Hibari Kyoya was on patrol. It was lunch break, so he had to make sure that the herbivores were not doing what they shouldn't be. He was walking down a particularly crowded hallway when he noticed the odd looks he was receiving from the other students.

"Um, Iinchou." A voice alerted Hibari to the presence of his right-hand man, Kusakabe.

"Hn." Which, in 'Hibari speak' (as Kusakabe liked to call it,) meant 'What.' It meant a lot of things, actually. 'Hn' seemed to make up a lot of Hibari's vocabulary.

"I don't mean to pry..." Kusakabe started. The hallway, oddly enough, had stayed crowded. There was a lack of screaming and running going on. Which was weird.

"Get on with it, herbivore."

"Iinchou... why is there a cat following you?"

"A...-" Hibari looked behind him to confirm that yes, there was indeed a cat following him. A little black cat with a white patch on it's face, white paws and a white stomach. ...Wait a minute. This cat.

THIS CAT. He had seen it before. Hibari frowned, trying to recall the memory. Which was odd, because he was sure it had been very recent, which meant he shouldn't have to even _try_ to remember it. It should just come naturally. In theory.

***Flashback***

"_Nyaa~!" A cat was rolling around on it's stomach, enjoying the feeling of it's ears being stroked. The person stroking said ears chuckled deeply, before realising something and standing up to leave._

"_Nyannnn..." The cat whined, curling itself round the man's legs. It didn't want him to go._

"_I have to." The man said in response to the unspoken plea of 'Don't goooooooo~'. "I'm late." He wasn't really. More like late for being early. But he liked being early, dammit. He unhooked the little cat's claws from his trouser leg and, making sure to be gentle, placed the doe-eyed creature a few feet away from him. Hibari turned to try and walk back to the school he was supposed to be at when he heard a tinkling sound from behind him. Like a bell. He faced the noise. Son of a- It was the cat. He'd only walked round the corner! _

"_GO AWAY." He didn't raise his voice, but the words were... powerful. Kind of. It was like shouting but not shouting. Hibari knew of a certain someone who could do with learning how to do that. Stupid long-haired guy nearly gave him a heart attack when he first heard him scream._

"_Nyaa..." The cat seemed to have gotten the message. Hibari hoped, anyway. He turned towards his destination again, unaware of the feline stalker that had cleverly hopped from tree branch to tree branch like some kind of demented monkey. All to follow him. _

***End of flashback***

Evidently, it had not got the message. "You." He said to the cat. Not maliciously of course. He was quite aware of his (impressive) killer aura, and knew that saying things in the wrong tone meant eyes rolling into backs of heads and the spontaneous spreading of liquid on his floors. The latter was more irritating to him, actually. People never seemed to realise that there was someone who had to clean that. Not him of course, he would never participate in such herbivorous activities. Sometimes it was the caretaker. Or the unfortunate herbivore who had made the puddle in the first place. ...Usually the herbivore.

"Nyaa~!" The cat purred happily, rolling on the floor and signalling it wanted to play.

"Go away." Hibari was more than a little exasperated. "Shoo."

"Hibari! Hibari!" Hibird had decided he wanted in on the conversation. To Hibari's surprise, however, the yellow puffball landed in front of the cat instead of on his shoulder.

"Mine!" Hibird chirped to the feline. The cat hissed at the offending bird and swiped at it, missing. In response, the bird pecked the cat's nose. This started a cat-fight (ha! ...What? That's funny!). More surprising to Hibari was the fact that the hall was _still _crowded. God. These people did not catch a hint, did they?

"...Hey, Iinchou." Kusakabe poked Hibari in the arm. This caught the attention of one of the students, who quickly turned to tell his friend, who turned to tell hers, and so on. Soon the entire group focus was on Kusakabe. The glances directed at him were filled with pity and wonder. Directed at the fool who would dare grin whilst poking Namimori's vicious demon.

"What."

"This kind of makes you like Snow White, huh?" Hibari did a double-take. He hadn't really been listening. Up until the Snow White part, that is.

"_What._" He hissed furiously. To his annoyance, his right-hand man's grin only widened.

"Well, you have a bird. That _sings._ You always seem to be surrounded by animals..."

"Kusakabe Tetsuya. Do you have a _death wish?_" Hibari pulled out his tonfas. His voice was icy calm. Half the student population must have been in the hallway by now. They looked extremely frightened, but didn't want to run, curious of the outcome. The statement had amused them, it seemed.

"No, no." Kusakabe put his hands up in mock defeat. "I'm just saying. You know."

"_Know what._"

"Well..." Kusakabe's grin widened to huge proportions. "You _do _have blue eyes. And pale skin. And black hair." Hibari felt his eye twitch.

"..."

"Ooh! Iinchou, we should buy you some lipstick!" By this point, Hibari wasn't sure if he should be really pissed off or just crawl into a corner. "And a dress!" Corner it was then.

"...Kusakabe. I don't- I don't even want to be a part of this any more." Hibari sighed and smacked a hand to his forehead.

"A-and a- pfft-" Kusakabe snorted, barely managing to stop himself from laughing. "A basket of flowers!" The students were starting to laugh at Hibari now. Or with Kusakabe. He didn't know, he couldn't even tell. Perhaps if he had been someone else he would've found it funny. But he was _not _somebody else.

"We should make you _sing!_" The man said gleefully, clasping his hands together in a way that was scarily similar to a certain assassin. The one with a multicoloured hairstyle. ...Okay, that was it. _WHACK!_ The tonfa smacked Kusakabe point blank in the forehead and he moaned with pain, clutching his head."Owwwww..." He moaned pitifully, pouting at Hibari.

"Herbivore, _SHUT UP._" An eerie silence filled the hall. Or rather it would've done, if not for the occasional tweet or hiss from the animals, who seemed to still be fighting. Hibari cursed them in his head for ruining his lovely dramatic moment. But that wasn't the point right now. Hibari, quite frankly, was absolutely furious. If the hallway did not clear in THREE SECONDS OR LESS, blood would be spilled. 'Spilled' is putting it too lightly. More like poured. Perhaps 'rained' would be a better word. He would make it _rain blood._ He rather liked the sound of that. Now to assure they would leave and not bother him while he questioned Kusakabe. He trained a murderous glare at the students, making sure to glare at each individually. As best he could, anyway. There were a lot of them.

"_Herbivores, get out of here before I BITE YOU TO DEATH._" That scattered the crowd quickly.

Hibari looked at Kusakabe, who was rubbing the sore spot on his head where Hibari had whacked him one.

"Explain." Hibari demanded.

"Ah... My head... I'm terribly sorry, Iinchou, for whatever it is I did. I believe I might've accidentally drunk some alcohol..."

"How does one _accidentally_ drink alcohol?"

"It sounds stupid."

"Tell me."

"I don't wanna."

"TELL ME."

"I accidentally dranksomeIrishcoffeethismorning- I'M SO SORRY IINCHOU PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" With that, Kusakabe sped off somewhere to do... whatever it was he did, leaving Hibari completely alone with the exception of the cat, who was cleaning itself. Hibird was gone. Or he'd been eaten. Hibari hoped for the former. He glared at the cat.

"This is all your fault." He muttered darkly at it. It gave him an innocent look and started washing it's face.

"Hey!" Came a voice. It was a boy with brown hair that was cut into an irritating shape (mind you, everything was irritating Hibari at that moment.). He was wearing glasses and had an annoying whiny voice that hadn't broken yet. Good. A person to bite to death.

"Herbivore. For irritating a member of the Disciplinary Committee with your loud breathing-" He needed a reason. What? It was a valid reason! Loud breathing could- um, use up his precious oxygen! That he needed to live and whatnot. Yes. That sounded about right. "-I will bite you to-"

"That's my cat!" The boy exclaimed happily, picking up the four-legged menace. "Thanks for finding her, Hibari-san!" The boy bowed lowly.

"..." Hibari watched the boy skip off and briefly considered jumping out of a window. He was on the fourth floor.

* * *

**Well. That was short, huh? And, like I said at the beginning, I am very sorry for possibly frying and or destroying your brain. Hibari and Snow White. Hibari ****_as _****Snow White. Heh.**


End file.
